NOISE.

Noise.

I feel safe in the noise.

I feel comfortable in the noise.

I hide amongst the noise.

The idle chit chat, glasses clinking,

the jukebox playing, the band jamming.

The noise that I hear when a woman looks my way,

scared and unsure...we will never break the ice.

Cork screws grinding, champagne popping,

bottle tops crisp release.

The smell of stale beer, too much lacker on the stick,

cigarette smoke from just outside the door,

and the faintest smell of old urine.

I feel alive, not alone, a king.

The bartender yells, “last call!”

As the bell rings, my life shatters and reality sets in.

Reluctantly I pay my bill,

preparing for my walk home, in the night air,

one more breathe at my door,

fumble with my keys…

“No one is coming with you, the party is over.”

I exhale.

I enter the darkness that is my apartment,

kick off my boots that have seen too much,

Let loose my belt from its loops.

I crawl into bed, my head still full of the noise…

It starts to fade, my mind becomes silent,

that’s a bad place to be.

The noise...I need the noise.